Before I had children and even after I had Number 1 angel baby I had a long list of things I “would NEVER do or let my children do.” Oh aren’t we so smart before we walk in these shoes. For SURE my children would never whine. I would be in full control of that. Be sure, we don’t put up with it at our house. We do all we can to discourage it. We ignore them, we punish them if it gets out of hand. Of course, you know, this Truthful Mommy gets to the end of her rope with incessant whining and does a bit of yelling. So then what…I have taught them to stop whining and start yelling? Believe me, the inconsistency is not lost on me. On many occasions, I have even been known to yell, “Stop yelling at each other!!!!!” Really? If you are not a yeller and screamer, I covet your demeanor! I wish that I were a soft-spoken, patient mommy. But I am not. That is my most constant prayer each and every day that God will give me patience and understanding with my children.
No, I have not always been a yeller. I didn’t yell at my friends, boy bands or sporting events. My husband and I certainly don’t yell at each other. We have too much respect for each other. So why on earth did mommyhood bring out this terribly ugly trait in me? I don’t yell constantly or immediately. It takes quite a good deal of whining and disobedience to get me there. But when I reach that boiling point, ridiculous phrases come out of my mouth in a very loud manner. Of all the people in my life, these are the little ones that should have my undivided patience. I usually finish a crazy rant, slow down, step back, and realize I have a lot of apologizing to do. Sometimes I DON’T slow down and step back and I just tell them they made me yell at them. It must be someone else’s fault. It cannot simply be that I am a yeller and that I have no self-control. It MUST be that they just don’t know when to stop misbehaving and they pushed me over the edge.
This is not the kind of mommy I want to be. Many many more posts to come on patience! I am a work in progress. But one thing I know for sure is that this is not the character trait I want my kids to remember from their childhood. So, my progress continues. My fervent prayers for God’s grace continue. One day I will stop all the mommy drama!!
Maybe back when I was so smart about parenting and vowing to “never” I should have affirmed to never yell, scream and be dramatic in my house.